Emotional Maturity in Marriage: The Soul Between Two

September 18, 2025

by farooqsahirkhan@gmail.com with No Comment

Emotional Maturity in Marriage: The Soul Between Two

In today’s world, many relationships begin with passion but struggle to last. The real foundation is not attraction alone—it is emotional maturity in marriage. Without it, love can fade into misunderstanding. With it, two people can build a soulful bond that grows stronger through life’s seasons of joy, conflict, and change.

In the world we live in, relationships begin with attraction and often end in misunderstanding. A couple falls in love not just with each other’s presence but also with an imagined future, with emotional connection, and with unspoken expectations. But as life progresses, feelings evolve. What once felt effortless becomes effortful. This is not failure. This is the beginning of true love’s test.

This article is about more than romance. It is about emotional maturity, soulful partnership, and what it means to truly walk with another person—day after day, through seasons of joy, boredom, frustration, growth, and change.

The Language of the Soul.

Feelings are not random. They are the body’s language for inner truths.

Love says: “I see you, I feel safe here.”

Anger says: “Something feels unfair or unseen.”

Sadness says: “I’m grieving a loss, even if it’s small.”

Resentment says: “My needs are unmet, and I’m afraid to voice them.”

Joy says: “This moment matters.”

Most couples don’t struggle because they feel too much—but because they don’t know how to express or listen to what feelings are trying to say.

In a marriage, it is not the words but the emotion beneath the words that must be heard. If one partner says, “You never listen to me,” the real meaning might be, “I feel invisible, and I’m scared I don’t matter.”

Emotional intelligence in a relationship is not about knowing how to avoid conflict; it’s about learning to be curious rather than reactive. It is learning to ask, “What is my partner really feeling right now?” and “What is my feeling trying to teach me?”

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The Nature of Modern Love: From Romance to Realism.

Modern relationships are unique. Unlike the past, where marriages were defined by duty, today’s couples want connection, fulfillment, partnership, and mutual respect. That’s beautiful—but also challenging.

We want:

The passion of a lover,

The loyalty of a best friend,

The safety of a parent,

The thrill of adventure,

The support of a therapist— All in one person.

But no one person can be everything. When we expect that, we crush the relationship under the weight of perfection.

Modern emotional intimacy begins with emotional honesty:

I am human. So are you.

Some days I will fail you. Some days you will fail me.

But if we both commit to understanding over blame, truth over silence, and repair over ego, we can build a bond that doesn’t break under pressure.

The Cycles of Emotion in Long-Term Love.

Every relationship moves through emotional seasons:

Spring (new love): Everything is fresh, exciting. We see the best in each other.

Summer (growth): Careers, families, ambitions stretch us. It’s easy to forget “us.”

Autumn (doubt): Differences emerge. Old wounds surface. We question our choice.

Winter (disconnection): Silence, coldness, sometimes resentment. This is the most dangerous season—and also the most powerful.

Because if a couple survives winter, they come into second-spring love—a deeper, realer, rawer connection. No longer based on illusion, but on truth.

The goal is not to avoid these seasons—but to recognize them and support each other through them.

Emotional Maturity: The Backbone of a Strong Relationship.

In the modern world, attraction is common. Compatibility is rare. But the rarest of all is emotional maturity.

Signs of emotional maturity in a relationship:

Taking responsibility for your emotions instead of blaming your partner.

Listening without needing to immediately defend.

Apologizing sincerely when you hurt each other.

Speaking with kindness, even when you’re angry.

Choosing to understand instead of win.

Marriage isn’t about being perfect partners. It’s about becoming better through the relationship.

The deepest truth? A marriage is not two people looking at each other—it is two people looking outward, in the same direction. Building a life. Growing a soul.

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Conflict: Not a Threat, but a Doorway.

Every conflict is an opportunity. Behind every fight is an unmet need, a fear, a buried pain.

The biggest mistake modern couples make is avoiding conflict or fighting to win. The goal is not to win, but to repair.

Try:

“When you said that, I felt hurt—not because of you, but because it reminded me of something from my past.”

“I’m scared to bring this up, but I want to be close to you again.”

“Can we talk without trying to fix each other—just understand each other?”

Vulnerability disarms anger. Empathy heals wounds.

Sacred Partnership: Beyond Ego and Into Soul.

A marriage that thrives in today’s world is not one without problems. It is one where both partners choose the relationship even when it’s hard.

To love someone for a lifetime is to love their evolution. The person you married at 30 will not be the same at 45. That’s not betrayal—it’s life. The question is: Can we keep meeting each other, again and again, as we both change?

The real marriage is not the wedding—it’s the quiet daily choice to stay connected, even when you’re tired, angry, or uncertain.

Conclusion: The Deepest Truth.

Here is the hardest truth: Love is not enough. It must be guided by understanding, protected by patience, and nourished by intention.

And here is the most beautiful truth: No one teaches us more about ourselves than the one we love.

The husband-wife relationship, when lived consciously, is not just a bond—it is a mirror, a teacher, a temple. It holds both joy and fire, comfort and challenge, heartbreak and healing. And in that sacred space between two souls, we discover what it means to truly be human—and to love anyway.

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Three Mods Of Mind, Rational, Emotional, Intrinsic.

September 8, 2025

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Three Mods Of Mind, Rational, Emotional, Intrinsic.

Human mind is not a simple automated network of nerves. It is a passive, multi-dimensional biological controller that manages all the transactions that our body makes with the surrounding world. it has a balanced source of power, guiding and regulating every internal process and every outward response.

But the mind is not rigid. It does not carry a fixed, unchanging nature. Instead, it is alive with intelligence. When faced with a new situation, even the situation it has never seen before, it still finds a way to read it, weigh it, and offer choices that can shape a better outcome. This is what makes mind remarkable: it is never bound to a single track. Its intelligence guide it to respond with flexibility rather than predictability. Its flow of power is never one-directional; it shifts and adapts, moving into the mode which is most suited to the conditions of present situation.

Mind go through these three modes ;

Rational Mode,
Emotional Mode,
Intrinsic Mode.

Let’s explore how these modes get activated, what triger them, and how mind switch between these modes?

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Human world is full of moments, most of them call one of these responses from within us:

Situations That Trigger Emotional Mode.
There are moments in life that strike directly at the heart. A loss that leaves you shaken, words of praise that lift your spirit, a sudden joy that fills you with light, or even humiliation that cuts deep. In such times, the emotional mode of the mind takes the lead. Before the mind can reason, the body already feels — the racing heartbeat, the tightening chest, the rush of warmth or cold.
Emotions shape our responses with power and immediacy. They can give rise to courage, push us to protect someone we love, or inspire acts of kindness we might not have planned. At the same time, they can cloud judgment, making us act out of anger or fear.
To live wisely with emotion is not to suppress it, nor to let it rule blindly. It is to recognize when emotion is speaking, to let it express its energy, and then to balance it with clarity. Emotions are not enemies of reason or intuition; they are signals of what matters most to us in the moment. When understood, they become fuel for empathy, passion, and meaningful action.
Situations That Trigger Intrinsic Mode.
There are moments in life where logic cannot give us all the answers. The rules are unclear, the evidence incomplete, and yet a quiet sense within us begins to speak. This often happens when meeting someone new and sensing their character before they reveal it, or when standing at a crossroads where no obvious choice is “right,” yet one path feels more aligned.
In such moments, the intrinsic mode of the mind awakens. It does not work like reasoning, laying out step-by-step arguments, nor like emotion, which rushes with intensity. Instead, it offers a soft but steady guidance — impressions, notions, or a quiet certainty that points us forward. This is the mind drawing from layers of experience, memory, and perception that are not always conscious but still real.
Learning to trust this voice is part of wisdom. Intuition does not replace reason or emotion, but it completes them. It allows us to move in uncertain spaces with a sense of inner direction, even when the world around us offers no clear map.
Situations That Trigger Rational Mode.
Some moments in life cannot be answered by emotion or intuition alone. They require clarity, structure, and deliberate thought. Planning for the future, solving a complex problem, weighing two difficult choices, or navigating a negotiation, these are the kinds of situations that call the rational mode of the mind forward.
In this mode, the mind slows down. It measures the facts, compares the options, and tests possible outcomes before deciding which path is best. Unlike emotion, which rushes, or intuition, which whispers, reason works step by step, building a clear picture that can guide action with stability.
Yet, reason is not meant to silence the other modes. Logic without heart becomes cold, and analysis without intuition can miss the hidden truth. The strength of the rational mode lies in its ability to bring order and clarity, to make choices that stand on solid ground. When balanced with feeling and inner knowing, it helps us move through life not only with intelligence, but with wisdom.

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Understanding Ability in the Equation of Achievement

September 6, 2025

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Understanding Ability In The Equation Of Achievement.

Ability is the force that Bridges potential and performance, making energy functional Rather than latent. But this force does not emerge in isolation; it Is a collective shape of multiple internal and external conditions. To understand the true nature of ability, we must understand its three fundamental components;

1: potential,

2: skill,

3: resources.

Potential, The Dormant Power Within.

There is an inherent force within each Individual, an infinite intelligence accessible through consciousness. In Greek philosophy, Aristotle discusses the concept that, all things contain within them the potential for their highest form, but they require action to fulfill it. Potential is this raw, Inactivated capacity within us—the latent force that holds the promise of greatness but remains static without movement. It is the fundamental strength of what we could be. This potential, However, is not universal in its expression. Each person has a unique zone of opportunity where their innate strengths can manifest better than anybody else.

Skill, The Refinement Of Raw Capacity.

Skill is the mechanism through which potential becomes usable. No individual, regardless of how gifted, can achieve greatness Without refinement of potential into actionable mechanics. skill acts as a bridge between raw potential and actualized ability. It is the learned competence that enables individuals to transform their innate strengths into real-world impact.

A musician with extraordinary potential remains unremarkable without years of disciplined practice. A philosopher with brilliant insights remains unheard if they lack the skill to articulate their ideas in society. The process of skill-building is not merely technical but deeply philosophical. True skill emerges not from a fixed state of competence but from perpetual openness to learning. if you are forced to do something, no matter how many times you do it, you cannot gain true skill becuase you are doing that unwillingly. When you are willing to do something, then you are mentally open to learning which makes you more receptive and creative in that field. Thus, skill is the refining fire through which raw ability becomes sharp and effective. But it requires patience, as it demands repetition and dedication. However, even skill alone is insufficient too. it must be supported by external conditions that allow it to flourish.

Resources, The External Catalysts Of Ability.

Ancient philosophies often debate the role of external conditions in human success. The Stoics philosophers say that true excellence is independent of external factors. It is entirely linked within one’s character. But my openion is that, we cannot totally exclude resources from our achievements. Resources are infact the external enablers of ability. Let’s discuss How?

Resources, whether financial, social, or environmental, provide the means through which ability can be expressed. No philosopher, regardless of intellect, can share their insights without access to education or an audience willing to listen. No artist, no matter how talented, can create without tools. In this sense, resources serve as the external enablers of ability, allowing it to materialize in the world.

Resources also serve as multipliers. A skilled individual with access to vast resources can accelerate their growth, reaching levels of achievement that would be impossible otherwise. The ancient chinese philosophers highlight the leveraging of existing conditions to create momentum, much like how a general positions his army in bettle field in a way that maximizes strategic advantage. Thus, resources are not irrelevant to achievement. They are a force that can elevate progress if utilized wisely. But a bad player with good cards can never win. To utilize resources effectively requires strong skill in the relevant field. Othewise, if they are miss-managed, you can loose them.

Ultimately, ability is not just one thing but a dynamic interplay between internal and external factors. All its three components are deeply linked to each other to make the whole of ability. Potential alone is powerless without skill to refine it. Skill alone is ineffective without resources to facilitate its execution. Resources alone are meaningless without the internal competence to use them. True ability emerges only when all three elements work in union.

So, the question is not whether you possess the ability to achieve, but whether you are willing to refine and activate what already exists within you. Ancient wisdom and modern understanding agree on this truth that: greatness is not gifted, it is earned.

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Let Possibilities Inspire You, But Let Your Abilities Lead You

Possibility is the land of infinite existence, where future is still unwritten. It is the domain of dreams, visions, and what could be. Possibilities turn into realities when backed by executed abilities. Without ability, possibilities remain mere illusions, and without possibilities, ability lacks logic of pursuit. You can’t rely on one of them. The key to meaningful achievement lies in the balance between these two forces—being inspired by possibilities while being led by your abilities.

Ancient philosophies have long debated the tension between fate and free will, between boundless potential and individual capability. The Stoics philosophers, argued that wisdom lies in Knowing what is within our control, like our skills, actions, and choices—while accepting what is beyond us. The Bhagavad Gita

Modern ideologies often glorify the idea that “nothing is Impossible,” yet ancient wisdom consider this idea impractical. This is true that, human mind can conceive endless possibilities, but not all of them are viable paths for every individual. Some choices, while technically possible, are not relevant to the unique ability of an individual.

When people chase every possibility without grounding them in ability, they scatter their focus and disperse their energy. A person attempting to master multiple fields at once, will be the master of none. A ship sailing in all directions at once reaches nowhere. To live meaningfully is to be inspired by what is practical and approachable for you according your current circumstances and conditions or life.

While our Imagination is vast, but our energy is limited. Make sure you use it in your ability zone. Your ability zone is where your expertise holds the most weight, where your actions yield the highest impact. An expert doctor may have potential to become an engineer, but their progress in medical field will be exponentially greater because they are working within their cultivated ability zone. This does not mean you should never explore new territories, but rather that expansion should be strategic and realistic.

Because achievement is the matter of precision, not random motion. It is not about blindly chasing opportunities but about directing effort toward where it matters most. Wisdom lies in making choices that align with your nature rather than being driven by fleeting desires. Scattering your focus across countless possibilities is like pressing random keys on a keyboard, hoping to type a masterpiece. But achievement is about striking the right keys in the right sequence.

This approach does not reject possibility; rather, it acknowledges that while all doors may theoretically be open, but not every door leads you where you truly want to go. The principle is Simple: choose battles where you have the highest probability of success, and from there, expand your influence. Thus, strategic focus is not about limiting yourself but about making the most of your strengths effective.

Success is not found in the mere belief that anything is possible, but in the disciplined pursuit of what is achievable within your unique ability zone.

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Understanding Free Will, Accountability And Karma.

Free will, the capacity to make choices independently of any preordained force or fate, is a central concept in both moral philosophy and religious doctrine. Within Islamic teachings, the idea of free will is closely linked to accountability, the concept of karma, and the consequences of our actions. Understanding free will in Islam requires a deep exploration of how the Quran, particularly in Surah Ash-Shams, addresses the human condition, moral responsibility, and the divine framework that governs the universe. In this discussion, we will delve into how free will is conceptualized in Islam, the role it plays in moral accountability, and the broader implications for the human soul as articulated in Islamic scripture.

Acknowledgment, Capacity and Involvement. The Three Pillars Of Free Will

Free will can be thought of as a three-legged stool, with each leg representing a critical aspect of our ability to choose. These three aspects are acknowledgment, capacity, and involvement. Acknowledgment is the intellectual recognition of what is right and wrong. Capacity refers to the power to act according to that knowledge. Finally, involvement is the actual execution of the decision, the moment when choice turns into action.

Acknowledgment.

In Islamic teachings, the acknowledgment of right and wrong is deeply rooted in the human soul. Quran suggests that every human being is given an innate sense of morality. Surah Ash-Shams (91:8) states, “And He inspired soul [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness.” This verse points to the divine gift of moral discernment, which every human possesses. This acknowledgment is not merely a superficial awareness but a deep-seated understanding that informs our choices. It is the first step in exercising free will because without the knowledge of what is morally right or wrong, meaningful choice cannot occur.

Capacity.

Capacity, the second pillar, is the ability to act on own knowledge. In the context of free will, capacity means having the power and means to choose between different courses of action. Quran, through various verses, affirms that humans have been given this capacity by God. For example, Surah Al-Insan (76:3) states, “Indeed, We guided him to the way, be he grateful or be he ungrateful.” This verse emphasizes that human beings are shown the path and are capable of making choices, whether those choices are righteous or unrighteous. Capacity is what enables individuals to take the knowledge of right and wrong and translate it into action.

Involvement.

The third pillar, involvement, is where the actual accountability begins. Involvement is the execution of capacity—it is when an individual acts upon their choices. This is the moment when a person’s free will manifests in the physical world, and it is this involvement that forms the basis for moral and divine judgment. Quran places great emphasis on deeds and actions as the primary means by which individuals are judged. Surah Al-Zalzalah (99:7-8) states, “So whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it, and whoever does an atom’s weight of evil will see it.” This highlights that it is not merely the knowledge or capacity that matters, but what one does with it. Without action, free will remains a potential, not a reality, and without involvement, there can be no accountability.

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Accountability And Karma.

In the context of karma, the concept of free will becomes even more critical. Karma, in its simplest form, is the principle of cause and effect, where every action has consequences. In Islamic thought, this is mirrored in the idea of divine justice, where every deed—good or bad—will be accounted for, either in this life or the hereafter. For karma to function, there must be free will, because without the ability to choose, individuals cannot be held responsible for their actions.

Islamic teachings consistently stress that humans are accountable for their actions because they have been endowed with free will. Surah Al-Baqarah (2:286) states, “God does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.” If free will did not exist, individuals would merely be victims of circumstance, with no control over their actions or the consequences thereof. In such a scenario, the concept of karma or divine justice would be meaningless because responsibility would not rest with the individual but with an external force that compels them to act.

Moreover, the Quran is consistently indicating that every individual is responsible for their actions. Surah Al-Shams (91:9-10) declares, “He has succeeded who purifies the soul, and he has failed who instills it [with corruption].” This verse underscores the importance of personal responsibility in shaping one’s moral character. The purification of the soul is an active process that requires making the right choices, while corrupting the soul involves willfully choosing a path of wrongdoing. The consequences, as indicated by these verses, are directly tied to the exercise of free will. Thus, the law of karma—where good actions bring about positive outcomes and bad actions lead to negative consequences—is intricately connected to the notion of free will.

Compulsion In Islamic Teachings: Understanding Logical And Physical Compulsion.

A common misconception regarding free will is the idea of compulsion, where people believe that certain divine commands or prohibitions take away their freedom to choose. However, Islamic teachings differentiate between two types of compulsion:

logical compulsion

and

physical compulsion.

Understanding these distinctions is crucial to understanding how free will operates within the framework of divine guidance.

Logical compulsion is similar to receiving advice or guidance that is based on reason and wisdom. It does not negate free will but rather provides the individual with the necessary information to make an informed choice. For example, a doctor advising a patient with diabetes to avoid sweets is a form of logical compulsion. The doctor provides the logic behind the advice—explaining that following his advice will lead to better health, while ignoring it will result in harmful consequences. The patient is not physically forced to comply; instead, they are informed about consequences of each choice. They are free to take the choice they can bear the consequences of. In this scenario, free will remains intact because the individual retains the ability to choose their course of action.

In a similar manner, Islamic teachings provide logical guidance on how to live a righteous life. For example, in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:183), God commands fasting during Ramadan, stating, “O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous.” Here, fasting is presented as a means to achieve righteousness, and while it is a divine command, Individuals still have the free will to choose whether fast or not to fast. The choice comes with consequences—spiritual and sometimes physical—but the compulsion is logical, not physical. The free will to choose remains with the individual, even though the guidance is clear.

On the other hand, physical compulsion is when an individual is forced to act against their will, with no room for choice. In such cases, free will is effectively nullified because the individual is not acting out of their own volition. Islamic teachings do not support the idea that God physically compels humans to act in certain ways, thus removing their free will. Instead, God’s guidance operates within the realm of logical compulsion, where individuals are presented with the consequences of their choices but are not physically forced to act in a specific manner.

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The Trap Of Comfort, You May Be Its Victim.

Are you in a trap of comfort?

In the heart of every individual, there lies a quiet urge to grow, a deep desire to step into what lies ahead, to be more than what is right now. Yet, there is something that interrupts this natural desire. That binds human being to ordinary way of living. Something more common, more silent, more dangerous than failure itself.

It is the trap of comfort.

The Story of Two Plants. A metaphore for the trap of comfort.

In a quiet garden, there was a small plant. Its branches were fresh, its leaves bright green, and it was proud of its little corner of life. It thought, this is all I can be.

Time passed. Then, nearby, another plant appeared. At first, it was just as ordinary. But slowly, this plant began to rise taller and grow stronger. Seasons passed, and soon, fruits appeared upon its strong branches.

The small plant, which was once satisfied with its leaves, had been observing all this with curiosity for a long time. Now it realized that it could become more than it was. But still it didn’t know that what’s wrong with it. Why it didn’t become a tree and have fruits. Filled with curiosity about what had happened, it finally found the courage to look up at the tree and ask:

“Why do you bear fruit, while I only have leaves? What did you do differently?”

The great tree, with heavy branches full of fruits, replied:

“You have not yet grown yourself to the level where fruit can come out of you.”

This simple dialogue holds a truth that can change the course of a life: most humans are stuck in the same trap as the small plant.

The Trap of Comfort.

Like that little plant, many of us stop at the first taste of satisfaction. We secure a job, earn enough, build routines, and call it “life”, because that feels comfortable. We convince ourselves that this is the destination, well, in truth, this is a trap, the trap of comfort.

Comfort feels safe. It feels like home. But it quietly numbs the hunger for growth. It limits us, softly whispering that there is no need to go further. And in that silent agreement, we give up the greatness that lies ahead.

To settle too soon is to live alive, but not fully living.

Human Potential: More Than Survival.

For most, life becomes a cycle of survival — work, eat, rest, repeat. Safety and stability are important, yes, but they are not the summit of human existence.

Eastern wisdom, especially in Buddhism, teaches that attachment to comfort and ego creates chains that bind us to smallness. We cling to what is safe, while growth requires us to let go.

A plant’s leaves are necessary, but they are not its highest calling. Likewise, survival is essential, but it is not the peak of human life. Real growth begins only when we rise beyond survival and touch the realm of possibility.

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From Survival to Ambition. Breaking the trap of comfort.

The turning point often arrives when we witness someone else reaching higher. Just as the small plant saw the fruit-bearing tree, we see others expand beyond what we believed possible. In that moment, desire is born.

But desire alone is not enough. It must be married to willingness — the readiness to break limits, to discipline oneself, to practice daily in pursuit of expansion. That is when ambition takes root.

Yet even here lies a subtle danger. If we chase only the fruit — the wealth, the praise, the recognition — we risk falling into another form of comfort, the comfort of ego. Growth then becomes shallow, a cycle of endless hunger without fulfillment.

Vision: The Highest Level of Growth.

True growth is not survival. It is not even ambition. It is vision.

The tree does not bear fruit for itself. Its fruits exist for others, for the world around it. In the same way, when a human reaches self-actualization — as Maslow once described — the focus shifts from what I can take to what I can give.

At this level, life is no longer about material posessions, but about contribution. When you follow the real equation of success which i explained in my book THE ACHIEVEMENT EQUATION, then purpose replaces ambition. Impact becomes the measure of existence.

Why Risk Is Necessary.

Here is the part many avoid: growth demands risk. The plant that dares to grow tall faces storms, winds, and seasons of uncertainty. But without this risk, it could never bear fruit.

The same truth applies to us. To grow intellectually, emotionally, spiritually — we must be willing to step into risk. Starting the business, writing the book, changing the career, speaking the truth when silence feels safer — all of these carry risk.

But risk is not the enemy. Risk is the bridge to your real power. Those who walk across it leave behind more than achievements — they leave a legacy.

Final Thoughts.

The story of two plants is not just about nature. It is about you and me. We are born with the possibility to either remain a small plant — safe, green, and ordinary — or to grow into a tree that bears fruit, impacts lives, and leaves behind something greater than itself.

The choice is always ours.

Stay with your leaves.

Or risk growth, and live a life that truly matters.

Because in the end, existence alone is not enough.

Life is about impact.

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Every day we are given only a certain amount of time and a certain amount of energy — once we spend that perticular amount of time and energy, they can never be regained. Because both these resources are irriversible, which makes them more precious and valuable. Ultimately, how we invest them defines the quality of our life.

Time: The Constant, Irreversible Medium.

Time is not just something that passes in the background—it is the medium through which life unfolds. It flows without pause or reversal. No matter what we do, we Cannot slow it down or bring it back. In Eastern traditions, this force is Called Kala—an ever-moving current that governs all cycles of creation And destruction. We cannot control time, but we can learn how to manage it with awareness and boost our productivity.

To understand the rule of time in a simple way, imagine traveling on a boat across a river. We cannot step outside the stream or stop its movement, but we can choose how we navigate our boat through it. That choice determines whether we simply keep floating or actually reach where we want to go.

Time in the context of achievement.

Understanding time in the context of achievement, we need to understand two kinds of delays that often confuse people in the journey of achievement:

Delayed actions.

Delayed results.

1. Delay in actions is internal. It’ Caused by fear, doubt, or laziness. Delayed Actions happen when we hesitate or hold back, even When opportunities are available. In Vedanta, this is called Tamas—a state where energy exists but remains unused.

The Three Reason Behind Delayed Action.

Fear.
Fear is the emotional condition that dominates whenever we sense loss or threat ahead. It often arises from two main reasons:

lack of preparation

discomfort of the unknown.

The solution is simple, if the cause is lack of preparation, then prepare yourself well before stepping into action. And if the cause of fear is discomfort of unknown, then give your mind a strong logical and emotional reason to move forward. If there is no convincing reason behind what you are trying to do, then perhaps you are on the wrong path and you must reconsider your choice.

Doubt
Doubt actually is the confused condition of mind between option and choice. It appears when you have too many options but no clear choice. Too many options make it difficult to prioritize. The solution is simple. Choose what aligns with your values, abilities and current conditions of life. Once the choice is clear, then the only thing you need is commitment.

Laziness
Laziness is intentional. It happens when your goal does not feel urgent or important enough to you. Imagine this: snoozing your alarm multiple times in the morning may be your routine, but imagen, if a snake suddenly appeared beside your bed in some morning, would you keep sleeping on bed? or you would leap up faster than an athlete? The answer is clear. Why? Because now your life is threat. You know that the price of staying on bed may be the loss of life itself. The lesson is clear—when your goal becomes as important as life, laziness disappears.

2. Delayed Results may occur even when we are doing the right things. The effort has been made, yet the outcome takes time to appear. This is not failure — it is part of the natural process. Here, patience becomes essential. Many people give up too soon, not because they were wrong in their efforts, but because results did not show up as quickly as they expected. Impatience often becomes the greatest regret at the end.

The Role of Nature in Results.

Nobody can deny that, the controlling authority behind results is the unseen hand of nature. But this does not mean that our efforts are meaningless. To clarify this matter, let’s see a technical example. You commonly use multiple applications or websites on your mobile phone or laptop. How an application or website works? There is a front end that the user interacts with, and a back end that runs behind the scenes. The user cannot control the back end — it belongs to the creator. However, the creator designs both front and back ends to remain aligned, so that every action produces its expected outcome.

When you click Sign Up on a website, it does not open your camera app. When you press “2” on a calculator, it shows 2 on calculator screen, not 5 or 8. Why? Because the system is designed with precision: the inputs and outputs are linked by defined rules.

Life works in a similar way. We are the users; God is the Creator. We can only interact with what we are given, but the Creator has already designed life in such a way that the back end (nature) responds to the inputs of effort we provide. Like if you want an output of “10” on a calculator, you cannot get that output with input “2+2”. You must give the inputs which meet the requirement of your desired output. Likewise, in life, you cannot expect high results while giving minimal effort.

This is where most people get stuck. Their expectations are high, but their input of effort is low. When results don’t match their hopes, they assume it is bad luck, fate, or lack of ability. But the real issue is that their inputs did not meet the required standard for their desired outcome. Delayed results are not a flaw in the system — they are a tragedy of misunderstanding.

Those who understand the process focus on improving their inputs. They know that once the input reaches the level required for the output, results will surely happen.

What To Do In This Period of Delay ?

When you face delay in results, there are two main possibilities:

The delay is natural — the process simply takes time. In this case, there is no need to worry. Stay consistent, keep your efforts aligned, and allow the process to unfold.
The delay is unnatural — caused by internal factors. Here, you must identify and correct the issue.

Common Factors Behind Unnatural Delayed Results:

Insufficient Effort
If the reason behind unnatural delay of results is that the input you provided was not enough, then it can be corrected by improving the inputs. For example, if a student fails an exam but he knows that, he did not prepare properly. The solution is simple: improve effort and do it again. You may get better and precise results.
Lack of Expertise
Sometimes results are delayed because we lack the skill required to handle the process. When there is no skill, you may loose the control of process. Like starting a tech business without technical skill may result in endless struggles or failure. The solution here is building the required skill. Build expertise first, then restart with competence.
Being Outside Your Ability Zone
Each person has natural strengths, that may be natural or built unintentionally due to surrounding social environment. So, if your strength is in technology but you force yourself into pure scientific research that demands memory and creativity beyond your interest, you may never progress. But once you shift to your true ability zone, to your natural domain, growth becomes almost effortless. So, in this case, the solution is to shift your choice where the chances for good results are high due to your strength in that domain.

Energy: The Driving Force of Life.

Energy turns intentions into reality. Without energy, time would pass Unnoticed, with no change or growth. It is the Invisible force that shapes everything in life—whether we actively Direct it or let it flow passively through us.

Energy operates in three distinct phases before it becomes a force that Drives real-world change. i have explained time and energy with more details in my book; THE ACHIEVEMENT EQUATION.

The Three Faces of Human Energy.

In human life, energy expresses itself in three stages. These stages are not merely mechanical or biological, they are universal transitions. They reveal how the invisible becomes visible.

1. Intelligence – The Pure Energy.
This is the original and universal form of energy. It exists everywhere in the universe but remains unused until it is allocated to a body. Intelligence defines the structure, memory and functionality of each segment of universe. A rock never turns soft, an apple tree never grows mangoes, and a wheat seed never becomes jasmine, because intelligence maintains their physical structure, order and identity.

2. Potential Energy – The Dormant Energy
When a portion of intelligence is assigned to a specific body—whether human body, animal body, or plant body, or even non-living matter, it takes the shape of potential energy. This energy is present but inactive, like a car with a full fuel tank that remains still until the engine is ignited. This form of energy holds the capacity to create impact but only when it is utilized by a body.

3. Kinetic Energy – The Active Energy
When potential energy is expressed outward by a body, creating real impact in the physical world, it transforms into kinetic energy. This is energy in motion, the ultimate form of energy that turn unseen capacity into visible reality.

Many people’s energy remain stuck in the second phase. They are aware of their inner capacity but never train thier body to traslate that energy into real world impact. Potential sits within them like stored fuel, but it is never set into motion. This is where intentional action becomes essential. Friedrich Nietzsche spoke of the “Will to Power” as the inner force that compels individuals to act upon the world, to shape their reality instead of merely reacting to their surrounding or circumstances.

Final Thoughts

Life is the combination of two precious resources—time and energy. Time flows without pause, and energy is the force that fills it with meaning. When energy remains locked as potential, life get stuck. when this energy is translated into action, life becomes creation. The universal intelligence within us requires intention and discipline to move from silent possibility to visible achievement.

The choice is always yours: to let time pass unused, or to fuel it with purposeful energy. The way we spend these two resources of life, defines not only what we achieve, but also who we become. we should honor both these resources, so that every moment carries the weight of meaning and every action leaves a lasting impact.

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Evolution, Understanding Life From The Begening.

September 6, 2025

by farooqsahirkhan@gmail.com with No Comment

Evolution, Understanding Life From The Begening.

Life is not random. It is not a loose collection of coincidences. It is a carefully designed system, built with certain rules, and carrying a purpose, even if that purpose is not always visible in our day-to-day life.
This is where our journey begins.
From the moment when God made his first decision to create life, and to set it in motion under certain universal laws and keep it growing through evolution.

From the beginning, the force we call Nature, or the unseen Will behind all existence, was not just a passive field of energy. It was a living source of power. And as the ancient thinkers often said, power never wishes to remain idle. Like a river that must flow, or a fire that must burn, power seeks expression. It seeks to act.

So, Nature decided to create a world, a world that would exist under its command, yet be filled with its own rhythms and cycles. But this world was not made immortal. Like all things created with wisdom, it was given a beginning and an end, a defined time period. Nothing eternal was placed inside this mortal world, because eternity can only be carried by that which is beyond the material.

So, the universe was created with a purpose and a timeline. And to keep this universe alive, breathing, and meaningful during its given lifespan, Nature made a bold decision, it would introduce life into this present, developed stage. Instead of creating a fully developed form of life, it created life intentionally imperfect, with flaws, with cracks, with room to grow. Because in that room to grow, lay the greatest secret of all: evolution.

Nature knew that a life built perfect from the start would suffocate under its own completeness. But a life that carried imperfection in its core would always have a reason to move forward, to reach higher, to become better.

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Nature’s Three Types of Life: The Hierarchy of Existence.

Nature created three types of life.

1. Subjective Life — The Silent Structure of the Universe.

At the foundation of life, nature designed a vast category called Subjective Life. This form of life is not “alive” in the traditional sense of breathing or thinking, but it forms the solid skeleton of the universe, like galaxies, stars, solar systems, planets, moons, asteroids, and every other cosmic structure visible to us.

What makes subjective life unique is its predetermined nature. From the moment of its creation, its structure, form, and function were fully defined. These entities do not evolve through choice or learning; they simply perform their designated roles with absolute consistency. A star burns, a planet revolves, a galaxy spirals — all in perfect obedience to the fundamental laws of universe.

Nature’s favorite expression within subjective life is circular motion. Everything moves in cycles: planets orbit stars, moons orbit planets, galaxies rotate around their centers. This repetitive, harmonious motion reflects a deep cosmic order. Subjective life does not question, resist, or change; it simply exists and functions as designed, providing the stage upon which the drama of life unfolds.

2. Objective Life — The Network of Ecosystem-bound Beings.

The second form of life created by nature is known as Objective Life. Unlike the static existence of stars and planets, objective life is organic, and dynamic. This category includes all forms of life except human beings, like animals, birds, fish, insects, plants, rocks and even microorganisms.

What defines objective life is its placement within a shared ecosystem. These beings are designed to live, adapt, and survive within the environmental conditions provided to them. They cannot change or choose their surroundings; their role is to exist in harmony with the immediate ecosystem they are born into. A fish cannot choose to live on land. A tree cannot uproot itself and walk away from deforestation. Their limitations are built-in, ensuring that the balance of the natural world is maintained.

Despite their lack of choice, objective life serves a greater collective purpose. Every species, whether predator or prey, contributes to the delicate web of life. Pollinators enable plant reproduction. Predators keep populations in check. Decomposers recycle nutrients. Each life form has a functional role, keeping the cycle of life continuous and self-sustaining. Their lack of individual will, is not a flaw but a design feature, it prevents chaos and ensures ecosystem stability.

3. Intelligent Life — The Gift and Burden of Choice

The third and rarest creation of nature is Intelligent Life. This is where human beings enter the picture. Unlike subjective structures or objective creatures, intelligent life was given a unique attribute: the power of choice. With intelligence comes the ability to think, reflect, understand, and most importantly, to alter their surroundings and reshape their own journey.

Human beings are not bound to a single ecosystem in the same way as other life forms. They possess the capacity to modify their surroundings, create tools, build shelters, cultivate food, and even explore beyond their native environments. This adaptability has allowed humans to thrive in deserts, mountains, polar regions, and even in the artificial environments of space.

But this power is a double-edged sword. With the freedom to choose comes the responsibility of understanding the consequences of those choices. Unlike animals who act purely on instinct, humans can choose to create or destroy, to nurture or exploit. This unique position requires a deeper sense of awareness and morality.

Intelligent life represents nature’s greatest experiment — giving a species the tools to become a conscious participant in evolution, rather than a passive product of it. Humans are capable of transcending basic survival instincts, aiming for higher purposes like knowledge, art, philosophy, and spiritual growth. Yet, they also bear the burden of potentially disrupting the ecosystems they rely on.

Nature’s creation of these three forms of life is not a random arrangement but a hierarchical harmony. Subjective life provides the stage, the physical reality. Objective life maintains the ecosystem, the continuous flow of organic existence. Intelligent life holds the potential to either elevate or disturb this balance through its choices.

Choosing intelligent life for evolution.

When it was time to decide which life would carry the torch of imperfection and grow through evolution, Nature chose intelligent life—human beings. There was deep reason in this choice. Evolution, which was Nature’s finest tool for progress, demanded two key factors.

First, mobility—the ability to move, to change, to never settle into comfort for too long.

And second, modification—the capacity to learn, to adapt, to rise from each mistake, each flaw, and shape self into something better and greater.

Among all forms of life that Nature had created, only human beings were found to hold the special combination needed to carry forward this grand experiment of evolution. Other creatures lived within the boundaries of their instincts, repeating the same patterns generation after generation. There was no bridge between where they were and what they could become.

But humans were different. They carried within them two gifts that no other lifeform possessed, competence and creativity. These were not ordinary traits. They were the keys that unlocked both the requirements Nature had set for evolution.

Competence gave humans the ability to act, to solve problems, to face the daily challenges of survival, and to keep life moving forward. It was competence that ensured humans did not remain stuck in one place, physically or mentally. They hunted, gathered, built, farmed, explored. They learned the laws of the earth, the ways of the seasons, the patterns of the stars. Through competence, humans became mobile, not just across lands, but also across stages of development. They kept pushing their limits because they had the power to work, to endure, to act. But competence alone was not enough.

The second gift, creativity, was what made humans capable of modification—of seeing what was and imagining what could be. It was creativity that allowed the first humans to pick up a stone and see a tool, to watch a spark and see fire, to look at the stars and wonder about the meaning behind them. Creativity turned survival into art, struggle into progress, hardship into invention. It was through creativity that humans walked the long, winding road from caves and stone tools to cities of steel, to soaring technologies, to visions of futures which were yet unwritten.

Because humans carried both competence and creativity—because they could act and also imagine—they were chosen as the vessels for Nature’s grand plan of imperfect life moving toward perfection. This is the secret behind the human design.

Nature, too, seemed to understand this truth. Only a lifeform that could both keep moving and keep improving would carry evolution to its highest point. Thus, we humans were selected—not because we were the strongest, or the fastest, or the most obedient—but because we had within us the restless energy to move and the creative spark to change.

This is the foundation of the human journey. It is not a race toward perfection, but a slow climb, a deliberate walk from lower states of being toward something more refined, more awakened. As Nietzsche reminded us, “One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.”

This is how life was designed imperfect, so it could have a reason to grow. And in that growth, lies the real meaning of our existence. And perhaps, the deepest responsibility we carry.

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Tasting The Sweet And Bitter Flavors Of Life.

September 6, 2025

by farooqsahirkhan@gmail.com with No Comment

Tasting The Sweet And Bitter Flavors Of Life.

One quiet day, while sitting alone and peeling an orange, I noticed something that stayed with me. It was such a small act, but sometimes life hides its biggest lessons in ordinary moments. As I broke the orange open and looked at its slices, I saw something more than just fruit—I saw life itself, and its sweet and bitter flavors.

Each slice had its own shape, its own size, and even its own taste. Some were sweet, some carried a little tang, and some surprised me with a burst of juice I wasn’t expecting. It made me think—this is how life is too. Our days, our experiences, our relationships—they come in different forms, with different feelings, and they don’t always taste the way we thought they would. But together, they make up the whole fruit of our life.

The taste of that orange didn’t happen by chance. It was the result of many things I couldn’t see while eating it. It depended on the kind of seed it came from, the soil where it grew, the rain that fed it, the sun that ripened it, and the storms it had to face along the way. Maybe it even depended on how the farmer cared for it—or didn’t.

Our life is very much the same, having both sweet as well as bitter flavors. The kind of person we become, the way we see the world, the strength or weakness in our hearts—all of this is shaped by things we sometimes forget to notice. The family we were born into, the people who raised us, the hardships we went through, the kindness we received, the losses we carried, the dreams we held on to—these all become part of the taste of our life. We can’t separate one from the other.

It’s easy to judge life based on one slice—one bad day, one painful season, one failure. But if we step back, we can see that all the slices together make the fruit complete. Some are sweet, some are bitter, but both are part of the journey.

This simple orange reminded me that life is not about expecting every slice to be perfect. It’s about learning to understand the whole fruit and its both sweet and bitter flavors. And maybe, if we pay attention, we can also learn to grow a better orange for tomorrow—by taking care of our seeds, our soil, and how we face the seasons of ife.

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The Reality Of Good And Bad. The Sweet And Bitter Flavors Of Life.

Life, in its purest sense, is neither good nor bad—it simply flows. Just as a river which is just flowing, some boats sink into it and some float and cross it. Its not the river but the conditions of ship that are defining the situation. Similar way, existence moves forward without labeling its moments. What makes life feel wonderful or unbearable is not the moment itself, but the way we receive it. Good days and bad days are relative terms, shaped by our conditions, choices, and expectations.

Take any event, and you will see how it wears different faces for different people. When two teams meet on the field, one will celebrate victory while the other will suffer defeat. For winner team, that day becomes a good memory; for looser team, the same day becomes a loss. Day itself is neither good nor bad, it is simply a day. What changes its meaning is the lens through which we look at it according our perosnal conditions.

This is why arrogance in success and blame in failure are both traps. External conditions are often just reflections of the inner choices we have made over time. When life gives us what aligns with our circumstances, we call it a blessing. When the conditions are not in our favor, we label it misfortune. But the truth is that, both good and bad conditions are part of the same flow. Our responsibility lies in responding with awareness: to enjoy success without pride, and to face hardship without self-pity.

There will be times, however, when conditions fall outside our control. A loved one’s passing, a sudden loss, or events which are too large for us to change, these moments remind us that life is bigger than our will. In such cases, acceptance is the only path forward. We can choose to resist reality and prolong our suffering, or we can acknowledge the unchangeable, and move ahead with patience and stable emotions.

And perhaps the deepest secret of life is this: what we call “bad conditions” often turn into best learning conditions. At first, they shake us, break us, and humble us. But eventually, they shape us into wiser, stronger, and more flexible human beings. Struggle refines character in ways comfort never can. Pain gives depth to joy. Loss makes us value what remains. Hardship becomes the soil in which resilience and clarity grow.

Overwriting Pain: How New Memories Heal Old Wounds.

We often ask ourselves—can we ever forget the bad moments of life? The answer is simple: NO. Memory does not work like a chalkboard that can be wiped clean. But forgetting is not even the real point here. To move forward in life, you don’t need to erase the past; you only need to create something new that shifts its the weight of past bad memories.

Our mind works on dominance. Whatever is engaging and clouding our thoughts at present, that becomes the strongest influence on how we feel and act. Painful memories dominate until other experiences overlap them. With time, when new conditions and experiences enter, they push old grief into the background, lowering its intensity. The loss or heartbreak is still there in memory, but it no longer painful because something stronger has taken its place.

This is why memory is not just a storage system; it is a tool of evolution. Nature gave us memory so we can learn, adapt, and choose better paths in the future. But our emotions are also tied to these memories, which means they can both heal us and hurt us. The good news is, memories can be overridden.

Think about a breakup. At first, the pain feels unbearable, and it seems like life cannot move forward. But then, perhaps you meet someone new who values you more deeply than your past partner ever did. Slowly, your mind builds new and better memories with this person. The old memories lose their power, because it is no longer the strongest story in your mind. What once broke you now barely matters for you.

This shows us the real way to deal with painful memories: not by trying to forget them, but by creating better ones. If you are still suffering from a memory of a year ago, it is not because time failed to heal you—it is because you have not built enough new memories to replace the old ones. Life keeps flowing, but if you stop creating memories, you get trapped in the same pain. The way out is to live fully, to embrace new experiences, and to keep writing over the old pages with better words.

Final Thoughts.

Life has both sweet and bitter flavors. we should not judge the whole life through one bad moment. Life is has its own patterns. sometimes we may have choice and someother time we may not, which can turn any moment of life to a sweet flavor and another moement to a bitter flavor. But you should not be the victim of circumstances. Define your own moments by conscious choices and responses. At the end, life is neither good nor bad. This our perception to external conditions which lable the moments of life with good or bad.

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